For some time now I have struggled with what is considered to be "spiritual growth." I have contemplated, read, discussed, dissected, and emotionally drained myself trying to find peace and balance within the mazes of my human soul. I lean towards Christian tendencies but most Christians, or at least the ones I have come across, tend to have an all or nothing attitude towards religion which I find to be rather annoying. I love what I have learned from them and I have found truth, a lot of truth, within the pages of the Bible, but I really don't feel (nor do I believe it was ever the intention of Jesus) that it is necessary to abandon all intelligent thought and rational thinking in order to follow this spiritual path. I really had a VERY difficult time with some of the Christian teachings on getting to Heaven, sexuality, and literal interpretation. I also found some of the more bizarre fundamentalist teachings such as the rapture, dinosaurs walked with people, and you can only be a Christian if you’re a Republican to be rather hard to swallow. So my emotional battle began. I loved the teachings of the Bible and the study of the beautiful life of Jesus and his Disciples but started to really dislike and even fear Christians. I started to see them as heartless, hateful enemies instead of loving brothers and sisters in Christ. I began to feel as though my liberal heart had no place within the Christian community. My life experiences and not to mention my "gut" feeling (which I believe was God given, but that's for another day) have lead me to believe that it is not necessary to have an emotional battle with myself in order to find that connection with God. God made me this way and God never intended for me to have an emotional struggle in order to have a relationship with his spirit. God intends on loving me and spreading his love through me as I am. I invite you on this spiritual journey and encourage you to find the courage to follow your heart and stand up for your beliefs and be confident that if it’s good, it’s God. I ask that you respect my journey and not bombard me with scriptures that tell me how wrong I am and I ask that you be open to the experience.
I had to grow up in a very strict narrow minded religious family. I have always and still struggle with there beliefs. Now days I worry more about what will happen to them when they die rather than my own out come. Will they be in for a shock? Was it all a waste of time? Do your narrow beliefs still hold up? Whenever discussing religion I think back to college and religious history. How the Catholics and the Protestants competed against each other to lure people into there churches, mainly through artwork. The Catholics would use gold and bright colors, the Protestants would use simple and often muted colors. My point is, they would decide what would stay in the Bible and what would be taken away or altered to appeal to different people. Think of how many times that has happened each time a new religion was MADE UP. In my heart, whatever God really exists would be filled with love he would not judge me for being gay, when he created me this way- just one example. I could go all day. The bottom line for me when it comes to my dislike of religion is- man has ruined it. People who consider themselves of God sit on there own self made thrown and try to tell everyone else how they should live there lives. Its the cause of endless wars since the beginning of man! For me Church has never been a place I felt loved or had a connection with, even as a small child. I consider my self spiritual but not religious. I feel a connection with the earth (thats why it is very important to me to try and take care of it) so then, I find myself judging and wanting to speak out to people that don't care! I guess religion is the same way if you believe in something strong enough. I don't want to do it to save them I want to do it to save the planet. Just like in the beginning of Church organizations wanted to save there religion. It will never change. my advice, is follow YOUR heart and don't worry what anyone else thinks because bottom line- know one really knows... Good blog though!
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